Thanks a lot, Lisa —- Dear Lisa, Thank you so much for your email. As you know from our exchanges, I’m going to respond publicly here, and I also want Design Mom Readers to respond, because I think this is a topic that benefits from many experiences and many points of view. Second, I don’t know you or your parents, but based on what you wrote, and your confidence, I think they seem pretty great.I can see you have a ton of confidence just to write it up and send it. I also think you are not the only 18 year old that feels this way. So I’m hoping this public post can be a help to others who feel just like you. And I would 100% recommend that you share this same email with them — both your mother and father — and tell them you want to have a series of open, frank conversations about sex with them.So open conversations can bring it back to normal really quickly.In addition to your parents, I hope you will also ask other adults in your life (teachers, church leaders, aunts) for open conversations about sex.Also, you didn’t mention same sex attraction, so I’m going to assume you are talking about sex between women and men: 1) You can read all about sex, and have lots of conversations, and feel like an expert.But until you’re actually having sex on a regular basis, a lot of what you learn or hear won’t really be helpful or make sense.I’ve had sex thousands of times and I’m still learning stuff (there’s always some new trend or new term I’ve never heard of before).
Before I go on I want to add that I have a normal family and very normal parents.I don’t know how to navigate figuring things out in my Wasatch Front culture.Today my sister said “when I was in jr high I thought sex was __ and__ and then I figured out it was so much more”.And the good news is, I can tell you from experience, the more parents talk about sex with their kids, the less awkward and uncomfortable it is.Sex is very normal, and not talking about it is what makes it seem weird, uncomfortable and not-normal.The same thing is true for so many of life’s experiences, so it’s not just a sex thing.