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The Internet-appropriate action to take is to simply say“I need to stop now. If it’s an argument telling you why you are a match, simply sign off. Regarding the third action, no stranger is worth any emotional investment on your part, especially negative ones. If someone has really incensed you, avoid further trouble even though you’re anonymous. They are unlikely to go postal on you, but some people are sufficiently sick to do some serious libel and slander.

I’ve enjoyed chatting with you, but I don’t think we’re a match. Some people flame others by sending e-mails, warning people of a person’s supposed bad character. He is [insert issue here].”) Although you could sue them for defamation, who needs the grief?

Here are the Internet-appropriate ways to say no: Note that Internet dating sites vary in the sophistication of their features.

On some sites, the person knowsthat you received his or her e-mail and read it.

The site will then begin to monitor all your e-mail messages and kick you off the system if it doesn’t like what you’re writing.” Afterward, break off the communication.

Say that you’re in the midst of a phone call with a prospect (after some e-mail exchanges), and you realize that he or she just isn’t a match.

When someone just won’t quit bothering you and all else fails, you have to dispense with being polite.

Just as dogs get only one bite (actually, they don’t get any free bites), your discouraged suitor gets only one “apology” from you. The following line is pretty darn effective but only use it as a last resort:“You need to know that if you attempt to contact me again, I’ll report your activities as an abuse to the dating site.

The pay sites have a serious interest in protecting their customers and maintaining good public relations.

If you do call for help, supply actual e-mails or other data giving the supporting facts.

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